I don’t know about you but for someone as talkative as myself I found it hard to actually speak up and say what needed to be said. 

I could easily make conversation and talk about easy conversational topics about my home life and children and work.  But when it came to really addressing some important issues I found it hard to be that vulnerable.  I would often avoid the issue and start another conversation or even leave so as not to have to confront the challenge because I was afraid of the consequences of saying the “wrong thing”, being yelled at or disappointing the person involved.

What about you?

Have you found it hard to start that conversation and really deal with the issues that are affecting you or your relationship with the person involved?

We are also dealing with this on a much broader level at the moment in our society in regard to the “Black Lives Matter” campaign.

In not speaking up, believing that the issue was too big, or not mine, or to hard to know what to say, many of us, white and privileged people have remained silent when we could have lent our strength and voice to these issues.

We are all learning now how important this is for us individually, for us as a society and for all those who are imprisoned, kept down and killed because of the colour of their skin.

More than ever it’s important that we speak up for what we believe in. That as individuals and a society we find our voice and use it for the betterment of all of us. 

Here are my top tips in overcoming the fear of standing up and Speaking Up:

  1. Be clear about what you want to say, and if you find it really hard make sure to rehearse it beforehand so you are clear and articulate.
  2. Wait to have the conversation until you can speak without the emotion so you can be heard and not overrun by emotions, which will cloud the issues.
  3. Remember to speak to your partner/boss/friend and not at them.
  4. Listen carefully to what they have to say. Stopping yourself from interjecting so that you can begin to put your point across again.
  5. Trust and back yourself and your point of view. Make sure you know what you are talking about, have your facts and figures straight.
  6. Don’t bully, simply state your opinion and point of view without apportioning blame or guilt.
  7. Put yourself in their shoes and really hear what they have to say.
  8. Know that we don’t always agree with each other, however, we do need to be allowed to hold a different point of view. This goes for your partner/boss/friend etc. as well.
  9. Spend time beforehand visioning a wonderful outcome. Really hold that in your heart and in your mind before you embark upon the conversation.  
  10. Don’t resist speaking up. The sooner you are open to these kinds of conversations the sooner you begin to live a life without fear.

Good luck and may your Soul shine through in all circumstances.

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