This week in GWC we are talking about boundaries. I have been thinking and reading a lot about the different types of boundaries that we need for a healthy happy empowered and balanced life.
You may find that you are better in some areas and not so good in others.
The different types are material boundaries, physical boundaries, mental boundaries, emotional, sexual and spiritual boundaries.
Each of us will have areas that we are naturally pretty good at, and others where we find it difficult to say “No”. It’s a good idea to be aware of your weaker areas and notice when you are out of sync with your inner self. Once we begin to notice our behaviour we can then take steps to make the changes that will bring us back into alignment with our true values and beliefs.
Material boundaries are concerned with whether or not you will lend your material possessions to others, whether you can say NO, when you are asked for something that you really do not want to give or lend to someone else.
Physical boundaries relate to your behavioural patterns with other humans.
Do you kiss everyone, do you hug, (not any more), and how do you feel if someone oversteps this boundary and comes too close to you and violates your personal space.
Mental boundaries are concerned with our values, our way of thinking and what we believe in. Are you able to allow others to have opinions and beliefs, whether they be aggressive or emphatic, that differ from yours without feeling violated and needing to be right? Are you clear and secure in your own beliefs enough not to be rattled by someone else’s.
Emotional boundaries are the ability to recognize that others will have many different experiences both negative and positive in their lives and we individually can’t be responsible for them emotionally by taking on their problems as ours. By believing that we can “save” them and that we can be responsible for them we overstep the line. Whilst our children are young we are responsible for many of their emotional needs however in order that they learn and grow into their own strength and resilience constantly trying to “save” them will leave them with weak emotional boundaries which continue into adulthood.
Sexual boundaries are very personal. When you don’t like it, don’t allow it.
If you feel at all violated by someone’s personal touch or advances it’s your opportunity to set the boundary and consent only to what you feel comfortable and at ease with.
Spiritual boundaries are also very personal. What feels right for your spiritual path is your barometer. You will know in your own heart whether it feels right. My barometer is, does it sing like a bird or sink like a stone?
I’ve been looking at my own life and realize that I have very good material, physical, mental, sexual and spiritual boundaries but I’m weaker with my emotional boundaries. And so this represents my area of work.
I think for me it has in the past been particularly difficult with family, as I found it harder to say no or even know when I should say no. I have been working on this for years and will continue to do so, for all our health and resilience and happiness.
What about you, when do you allow your boundaries to be overstepped?